aka The Vinyl Villain incorporating Sexy Loser
‘GIGS FROM YESTERYEAR, WHEN I WAS YOUNG + PRETTY AS A PICTURE’
#11 Bizarre Festival, Alsdorfer Weiher (June 1992)
Dear friends,
1984 didn’t start nicely for me. I was 15 ½ and I thought The Clash were the best thing since sliced bread (still do in a way, but less said about that the better). No internet, of course, all you had were UK music papers you’d get at the station in town (the town being 40 kilometres away from where I lived) plus a German one, Spex, a bit easier available. Now, rumour had it, presumably in one of those papers, that The Clash would play the Philipshalle in Düsseldorf (100 kilometers away) in February and understandably my mate Arthur and me were electrified – little did we know about Mick Jones having been sacked and The Clash MK II being by and large a different cup of tea in comparison to their previous output which we had in our record collection.
So we did our utmost to convince our parents to get permission to attend said gig. We would have gone there by bicycle, even bloody walked there, so desperate were we to see The Clash – we would literally have done everything! We were not in the best of positions to argue, it must be said, because both of us had to stay down this year in school – so all beggary was in vain, our parents just laughed and told us to bugger off, basically.
And that’s it – I did not see The Clash then, and from a semi-psychological point of view this might be one reason why I became the frustrated old fart that I am now, perhaps.
But either way, here comes the link to Little Loser’s choice of today: information-wise nothing much had changed in the eight years which had passed, still no internet, still the same music papers. And another rumour: apparently The Pogues’ Shane McGowan has finally completely lost his head, so much so that The Pogues had recruited Joe Strummer to take over his vocal duties. And who were to play this year’s Bizarre Festival? Right, The Pogues were … so I desperately tried to strum up a friend to come along with me. Bizarre had re-located the venue in 1992 and Alsdorf was just 40 kilometres away, which of course was convenient. Entry was not convenient though: 53,- Deutschmarks, which was a bit steep, even in those days. But hey, it was The Clash, at least a quarter of them, so off we went!
Also, in order to tell the whole truth: not only Joe Strummer was supposed to be there, The Ramones were as well – but more importantly also a stunning young girl I had a total crush on back then, Celia. Certain looks had already been exchanged in the local pub between her and me previously and when having been in conversation with her, I always had the feeling that she fancied me as well.
Right, convincing my mate to come along with me plus getting hold of sufficient cash took quite some time, means we only got there early in the afternoon. So we missed some of the ‘earlier’ bands, if memory serves correctly I saw Blur, but for the life of me I cannot remember whether I saw Kirsty MacColl or not. A shame if I didn’t, of course, in hindsight. I definitely saw Carter USM (excellent) and The Ramones (don’t ask me why they weren’t even mentioned on the ticket) – I remember that some pogoing idiots destroyed parts of the stage whilst they played. I think their set was brutally brief because of this (six tunes only plus C.J. injured), but detailed memory has left me there
This, friends, might have something to do with the fact that it hadn’t taken me long to find Celia in the crowd and, believe it or not, my assumption was correct: she liked me as well, it turned out. A lot, in fact. So maybe I cannot tell too much about the bands and their sets because I spent too much time on kissing & caressing … it certainly distracted me from the music, that’s for sure!
Fun fact: Alsdorf is just 5 minutes away from where I now live and the venue, which was a hilly park near to a big pond, had been transmogrified into a petting zoo in the late 90s. So when Little Loser was little, we went there quite often – and whenever he would caress a goat or whatever, I stood there and smiled sheepishly whilst recalling my own caressing actions at the very same place some 20 years before …
So, to cut a long story short: today – with the benefit of hindsight – we all know now that Joe Strummer handled lead vocals for the Pogues’ 1992 tours across Australia, Japan, and North America. But by the spring of 1992, he left the band. Longtime tin-whistle player and founding member Spider Stacy then took over as the permanent lead vocalist. The Bizarre Festival, let me remind you, took place in June …
So shamefully I never got to see any member of The Clash in all of my life. On the plus side, Celia and me left the festival as a couple and were together for nearly a year, so there you are … not too much of a shabby day altogether, right?
Here’s some music, tracks specifically chosen to fit the dead romantic atmosphere:
Carter USM – ‘Lean On Me I Won’t Fall Over’ (live @ Reading ’94)
Ned’s Atomic Dustbin – ‘Happy’ (live JB’s, Dudley ’02)
Blur – ‘It Could Be You’ (live Budokan, Tokyo ’95)
Slowdive – ‘Celia’s Dream’ (’91)
Ramones – ‘I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend’ (live Roxy, Hollywood ’76)
I could of course have killed two birds with a stone and go for the well-known version of ‘Fairytale’, “the Christmas one”, if you like – featuring Kirsty. But no, instead:
Kirsty McColl – ‘There’s A Guy Works Down The Chip Shop Swears He’s Elvis’ (’81)
Pogues – ‘Fairytale Of New York’ (early version (from ’86), with Cait O’Riordan on vocals and different lyrics: absolutely ace!)
Enjoy,
Dirk
THE NEW VINYL VILLAIN 