Firstly I need to apologise to my sister for in the moments before writing this article I destroyed one of her most precious possessions (Probably).
Secondly I’ve cheated again. The attached song was not pulled out of the box today – but that will be revealed why and I am pretty sure you will all understand.
Now regular readers will know that back in week two I stated that someone might have been tampering with the CDs in this box. I now know that person was my sister, and that at least one of her CDs found its way into this box as it was one I pulled out today. Before that however, I pulled out two cassette singles (or cassingles as nobody ever called them – and fact fans the only ‘cassingle’ that I ever bought was Hippy Chick by Smiths sampling band Soho, and that was because it was 5p).
The two cassingles in the box also belonged to my sister. The first one was by actor turned singer turned actor turned reality TV star, Joey Lawrence, who was the least funny character in the terminally unfunny American Sitcom ‘Blossom’. He played a male called ‘Joey’ in it. I didn’t play it in fact it sits in the bin in my kitchen right now just under the latest dirty nappy that I have changed.
The second one, well the second one was and it troubles me to even write it… More Than Words by Extreme, a song so bland that it came fourth in the ‘Most bland song ever written’ contest. It’s so bland it couldn’t even come first.
It’s also a song which I detest and so in a pique of rage and utter fury I did the only thing befitting it. I placed it in the road outside and then reversed the car over it at least nineteen times. The weather this morning in Devon is wet and miserable, a bit like ‘More Than Words’. Literally. After I had finished I remembered slowly that this was in fact the first dance at my sisters wedding and a small tinge of guilt crept through me – she might have actually wanted that tape. So if your reading, which I doubt…….sorry sis.
A couple of weeks ago I briefly wrote about hyped bands and the CD underneath the tapes is a really good example of hype turning very quickly into nonsense, for it was Spaceman by Babylon Zoo – a song which featured on a Levi’s commercial and went all the way to Number One.
Levi’s PR team were very clever, because they knew the truth. The song on the advert started with a speeded up vocal and it sounded terrific, new, and exciting. Sadly when the speeded up voice slowed down and Jas Mann (for that was his name, and still is I guess) was singing properly, he had a voice which made a noise similar to the one a walrus makes when pleasuring itself………..And that, people, was the truth that Levi’s knew.
Yet they let us believe something completely different so they could sell jeans. The clever bastards. It wasn’t new, terrific and exciting it was, well, a bit shit. I thought about posting the song, I hit the rip button and it stopped at 60% and the computer just refused to copy it. My machine may be older than most of One Direction, but man it has taste. So I searched by music files and I attach something by Spaceman 3, kind of related but simply in another galaxy in terms of greatness – in my opinion, they are one of the most inspirational bands of my generation.
I had to cheat again, I was worried that the next CD might be Bad Boys Inc or worst still Bon Jovi, so I pulled out the next five and glanced at them. One (next weeks) bought a massive smile to my face, as its honestly one of the best five singles ever released there was also one record that JC will love and one that will bring a smile to the face of regular commenter The Robster. There was no Bon Jovi. Well not yet anyway.
mp3 : Spaceman 3 – Big City
Bye for now
Note(s) from JC
#1 : Just in case some of you aren’t familiar with the sound of a walrus pleasuring itself:-
mp3 : Babylon Zoo – Spaceman
(courtesy of a CD single that was bought as a present for Mrs Villain who liked the single and fancied the singer)
#2 : Proof that a 5p cassingle can be great value:-
mp3 : Soho – Hippychick
(courtesy of the 12″ vinyl copy that sits in the cupboard – loved the idea of a Johnny Marr riff being on the dance charts)
#3 : Hit songs that I detest so much that I would gladly do as S-WC did and reverse a car over them at least 19 times…..well I would if I could drive.
Toploader – Dancing In The Moonlight
Nickelback – How You Remind Me
Keane – every fucking song they’ve ever released…..and all covers versions as well.
What about you folk out there???????