SOME SONGS ARE GREAT SHORT STORIES (Chapter Seven)

A GUEST CONTRIBUTION by JACQUES THE KIPPER

I feel this cautionary tale is particularly appropriate as we hit the festive period.

mp3 : The Velvet Underground – The Gift

JTK

Waldo Jeffers had reached his limit. It was now mid-August which meant he had been separated from Marsha for more than two months. Two months, and all he had to show were three dog-eared letters and two very expensive long-distance phone calls. True, when school had ended and she’d returned to Wisconsin, and he to Locust, Pennsylvania, she had sworn to maintain a certain fidelity. She would date occasionally, but merely as amusement. She would remain faithful.

But lately Waldo had begun to worry. He’d had trouble sleeping at nights and when he did, he had horrible dreams. He lay awake at night, tossing and turning underneath his pleated quilt protector, tears welling in his eyes as he pictured Marsha, her sworn vows overcome by liquor and the smooth soothings of some neanderthal, finally submitting to the final caresses of sexual oblivion.

It was more than the human mind could bear.

Visions of Marsha’s faithlessness haunted him. Daytime fantasies of sexual abandon permeated his thoughts. And the thing was, they wouldn’t understand how she really was. He, Waldo, alone understood this. He had intuitively grasped every nook and cranny of her psyche. He had made her smile. She needed him, and he wasn’t there (Awww…).

The idea came to him on the Thursday before the Mummers’ Parade was scheduled to appear. He’d just finished mowing and etching the Edelson’s lawn for a dollar fifty and had checked the mailbox to see if there was at least a word from Marsha. There was nothing but a circular from the Amalgamated Aluminum Company of America inquiring into his awning needs. At least they cared enough to write.

It was a New York company. You could go anywhere in the mails. Then it struck him. He didn’t have enough money to go to Wisconsin in the accepted fashion, true, but why not mail himself? It was absurdly simple. He would ship himself parcel post, special delivery. The next day Waldo went to the supermarket to purchase the necessary equipment. He bought masking tape, a staple gun and a medium sized cardboard box just right for a person of his build. He judged that with a minimum of jostling he could ride quite comfortably. A few airholes, some water, perhaps some midnight snacks, and it would probably be as good as going tourist.

By Friday afternoon, Waldo was set. He was thoroughly packed and the post office had agreed to pick him up at three o’clock. He’d marked the package “Fragile”, and as he sat curled up inside, resting on the foam rubber cushioning he’d thoughtfully included, he tried to picture the look of awe and happiness on Marsha’s face as she opened her door, saw the package, tipped the deliverer, and then opened it to see her Waldo finally there in person. She would kiss him, and then maybe they could see a movie. If he’d only thought of this before. Suddenly rough hands gripped his package and he felt himself borne up. He landed with a thud in a truck and was off.

Marsha Bronson had just finished setting her hair. It had been a very rough weekend. She had to remember not to drink like that. Bill had been nice about it though. After it was over he’d said he still respected her and, after all, it was certainly the way of nature, and even though, no he didn’t love her, he did feel an affection for her. And after all, they were grown adults. Oh, what Bill could teach Waldo – but that seemed many years ago.

Sheila Klein, her very, very best friend, walked in through the porch screen door and into the kitchen. “Oh god, it’s absolutely maudlin outside.” “Ach, I know what you mean, I feel all icky!” Marsha tightened the belt on her cotton robe with the silk outer edge. Sheila ran her finger over some salt grains on the kitchen table, licked her finger and made a face. “I’m supposed to be taking these salt pills, but…” she wrinkled her nose, “they make me feel like throwing up.” Marsha started to pat herself under the chin, an exercise she’d seen on television. “God, don’t even talk about that.” She got up from the table and went to the sink where she picked up a bottle of pink and blue vitamins. “Want one? Supposed to be better than steak,” and then attempted to touch her knees. “I don’t think I’ll ever touch a daiquiri again.”

She gave up and sat down, this time nearer the small table that supported the telephone. “Maybe Bill’ll call, ” she said to Sheila’s glance. Sheila nibbled on a cuticle. “After last night, I thought maybe you’d be through with him.” “I know what you mean. My God, he was like an octopus. Hands all over the place.” She gestured, raising her arms upwards in defence. “The thing is, after a while, you get tired of fighting with him, you know, and after all I didn’t really do anything Friday and Saturday so I kind of owed it to him. You know what I mean.” She started to scratch. Sheila was giggling with her hand over her mouth. “I tell you, I felt the same way, and even after a while, ” here she bent forward in a whisper, “I wanted to!” Now she was laughing very loudly.

It was at this point that Mr Jameson of the Clarence Darrow Post Office rang the doorbell of the large stucco coloured frame house. When Marsha Bronson opened the door, he helped her carry the package in. He had his yellow and his green slips of paper signed and left with a fifteen cent tip that Marsha had gotten out of her mother’s small beige pocketbook in the den. “What do you think it is?” Sheila asked. Marsha stood with her arms folded behind her back. She stared at the brown cardboard carton that sat in the middle of the living room. “I dunno.”

Inside the package, Waldo quivered with excitement as he listened to the muffled voices. Sheila ran her fingernail over the masking tape that ran down the centre of the carton. “Why don’t you look at the return address and see who it’s from?” Waldo felt his heart beating. He could feel the vibrating footsteps. It would be soon.

Marsha walked around the carton and read the ink-scratched label. “Ah, god, it’s from Waldo!” “That schmuck!” said Sheila. Waldo trembled with expectation. “Well, you might as well open it, ” said Sheila. And both of them tried to lift the stapled flap. “Ah sst, ” said Marsha, groaning, “he must have nailed it shut.” They tugged on the flap again. “My God, you need a power drill to get this thing open!” They pulled again. “You can’t get a grip.” They both stood still, breathing heavily.

“Why don’t you get a scissor?” said Sheila. Marsha ran into the kitchen, but all she could find was a little sewing scissor. Then she remembered that her father kept a collection of tools in the basement. She ran downstairs, and when she came back up, she had a large sheet metal cutter in her hand. “This is the best I could find.” She was very out of breath. “Here, you do it. I think I’m gonna die.” She sank into a large fluffy couch and exhaled noisily. Sheila tried to make a slit between the masking tape and the end of the cardboard flap, but the blade was too big and there wasn’t enough room. “God damn this thing!” she said, feeling very exasperated. Then smiling,
“I got an idea.” “What?” said Marsha. “Just watch,” said Sheila, touching her finger to her head.

Inside the package, Waldo was so transfixed with excitement that he could barely breathe. His skin felt prickly from the heat, and he could feel his heart beating in his throat. It would be soon. Sheila stood quite upright and walked around to the other side of the package. Then she sank down to her knees, grasped the cutter by both handles, took a deep breath, and plunged the long blade through the middle of the package, through the masking tape, through the cardboard, through the cushioning and (thud) right through the centre of Waldo Jeffers head, which split slightly and caused little rhythmic arcs of red to pulsate gently in the morning sun.

AN IMAGINARY COMPILATION ALBUM : #123 : THE VELVET UNDERGROUND

A GUEST POSTING FROM DREW (ACROSS THE KITCHEN TABLE)

“Modern music begins with the Velvets, and the implications and influence of what they did seem to go on forever” – Lester Bangs

My love of the Velvet Underground stems back to 1985 when I sought them out after the comparisons made with my then favourite new band The Jesus and Mary Chain in all the articles that I devoured regarding the misfits from EK. Up until I heard Upside Down I was a rather confused hippy/punk who also had a thing for the girl groups of the 1960s which I kept to myself, the pelters for wearing a Italian Army Field Jacket with the Steppenwolf wolf’s head painted on the back of it, Ozzy Osborne fringes sewn on the sleeves and Crass & Clash badges on the breast pockets and shod in moccasins was enough ammunition for the “cool crowd” without also divulging a love for Be My Baby.

Anyway it all changed late 1984 early 1985 with the Reid Brothers; I was intrigued by the Velvet Underground. I had of course heard Walk on the Wild Side and Transformer but not The Velvet Underground and Nico or to my knowledge anything else by the band. I eventually sourced a copy of the first album from a pal, Gregor’s older brother who was friends with a guy who was friends with a Soup Dragon and a sometime member of the BMX Bandits and who would give me my first taste of garage/psych in the form of a C90 a little later.

The Banana album was a revelation. I could not believe that this album was from the same period as Forever Changes, Are You Experienced and other records the hippy types had introduced me to. The edginess of Waiting For My Man to the nearly toothache sweetness of Sunday Morning to the strange cold out of tune vocals of Nico on All Tomorrow’s Parties (“like an IBM computer with a German accent” is how Andy Warhol described it), which I realised I knew from Japan’s cover, instantly won me over. I loved everything about this band; they were cool and sounded so different from anything else. I searched for a copy of the vinyl but none of the shops I frequented stocked it. A few months later it would come into my possession along with the follow up, White Light White Heat when a friend came back from his annual trip to Florida with both and after playing once decided he didn’t like them and swapped them with me for what I have no recollection of but at that point I would have most probably given him anything apart from my Clash, SLF or Motorhead albums none of which would have interested him anyway.

From that moment on I collected as much Velvet Underground as I could. By the end of 1985 I had all 4 studio albums. The following year I added Live 1969 and VU and then Another View and after that Live at Max’s Kansas City and I have been adding bootlegs, Anniversary reissues and a singles box set, so now there isn’t much left that I still want. The original singles would be nice but out of reach price wise.

Compiling this ICA has been a near impossible task. There may only have been four original albums but nearly ever track could be included in a Best Of along with about half of the two post split studio outtakes that were found languishing in the vaults before their release in the mid 80s. Or I could have just have had the 36 mins 54 second version of Sister Ray from the Complete Matrix Tapes cd box set. I was surprised when I came up with the final ten that there are only three songs from the first two albums, the ones that when I was younger I considered to be the real Velvet Underground albums. Also there is nothing from what for me is the best overall album, The Velvet Underground which is very strange, however when I realised this and looked to see what I would take out for What Goes On, Pale Blue Eyes or I’m Set Free I just couldn’t drop any of them. I know that once this is posted I will look at it and realise I have made a huge mistake but right now, at this very moment these are my favourite Velvet Underground tracks.

Side One

1. Run Run Run taken from The Velvet Underground & Nico

When I first heard this I was first gripped by the train like beat and then the shriek of feedback but not like the controlled feedback I was used to from listening to Hendrix, this was more like a mistake that was just left in. Similarly the guitar solos if that’s what they are, are about as rudimentary as they could be but no less effective than the more virtuoso solos by other guitarists at the time.

2. I’m Waiting For The Man taken from The Velvet Underground & Nico

Two in a row from the debut album, I know but this really did need to follow Run Run Run. Again it’s the throbbing beat that pulled me in, then those laid back vocal about going to score gear. I’m pretty sure that this song if heard more widely would have caused a stir at the time with its overt drug procuring lyrics.

3. Sweet Jane taken from Loaded

This was a difficult choice as most of the time I listen to the live versions I have of this, all from prior to the release of the fourth album when the song was still a work in progress and doesn’t have that little intro, is a bit more laid back with different verses. One of the Velvet’s best known songs due to the cover versions by the likes of Cowboy Junkies, Reed himself, Mott The Hoople and my favourite the live version by Lone Justice captured on the BBC Live In Concert cd.

4. Foggy Notion taken from VU

This is one of two of my favourite Velvet’s tracks which were never released when the band were going. It was recorded during the sessions for the “lost” 4th MGM/Verve album on 6th May 1969. The band were purged from the MGM roster by the new management at the label who wanted to offload the non profit making bands, of which the Velvets must have been near if not top of the pile. The tapes of these sessions were found when clearing out the vaults in 1984, mixed and released as VU the following year to huge critical acclaim and lot’s of “what if’s”, could these sessions have produced the album that finally break the band into the mainstream? As the songs from these sessions are the most accessible tunes that they did, certainly up until this point, as evidenced by Foggy Notion, what a groove!

5. Lisa Says (Live) taken from The Complete Matrix Tapes.

One of the great things about Lou Reed’s songs is that a lot of them mention people by name; Lisa, Stephanie, Candy and loads of others, some members of Warhol’s Factory which makes the lyrics feel more real, to me anyway. The studio version of this song is also included on the VU album. This take comes from the Matrix Tapes and is double the length. I first heard this on the Live 1969 album, an inferior quality recording of the Matrix tapes songs and Lisa Says is most probably my favourite Velvets song.

Side Two

1. The Booker T taken from Peel Slowly and See.

Technically this isn’t a song but a jam that the band used to play in 1967 and was never recorded in the studio sadly, so we only have this one 7/10 quality wise version that was bootlegged and then officially released on the comprehensive 5cd career round up in 1995, Peel Slowly and See. Now you are probably thinking that I am being wilfully obscure and wanky including this but I do love this tune. I can listen to it on repeat over and over. I found out that it was released on a bootleg 7” which of course I had to hunt down and was more than a little disappointed when I eventually got a copy to find that it wasn’t this at all but the instrumental part to The Gift from White Light White Heat which this jam evolved into. Don’t get me wrong it’s good just not this good.

2. I Can’t Stand It taken from VU

Another tune from the unreleased sessions for the “lost album”. This is another track that sounds effortlessly cool, that nagging riff, pounding drums and Reed’s drawl. Just about perfect.

3. Rock n Roll taken from Loaded

Rock n Roll recounts the story of Jenny whose life was saved by Rock & Roll. I read in notes to Peel Slowly and See that the song was about Reed himself, who wasn’t interested in anything until he heard rock and roll. “If I hadn’t heard rock and roll on the radio, I would have had no idea there was life on this planet” It comes from the band’s final album, Loaded recorded for Atlantic. The band were on the point of implosion at this point but could still produce an LP “loaded” with hits or so Reed thought and it is definitely the most commercial of their releases.

4. White Light /White Heat taken from White Light/White Heat

My only pick from the band’s second album and final one with John Cale. This is probably the other song that those unfamiliar with the band will know due to Bowie covering it. The song describes how it feels to mainline methamphetimine. The bass solo at the end is Cale’s attempt to convey the throbbing ear-ringing that occurs when on the drug. Not something I have ever been interested in finding out if I’m honest. There is a 100 mile an hour nine and a half minute version of this on the Matrix Tapes which is pretty damned amazing.

5. I Found A Reason taken from Loaded

We finish off with the quite beautiful I Found A Reason where Reed goes back to his song writing roots with a lovely doo-wop melody. I have always wished that Aretha Franklin or Ruby Andrews had covered this song as I think that a strong female soul voice could really do the song justice.

I know that loads of you will disagree with some if not most of my choices probably the omission of Heroin and Pale Blue Eyes to mention just two. And of course the elephant in the room is the missing Sister Ray which I would have had to sacrifice three or four songs to include. So as a bonus here is the version from White Light/White Heat which is one of the shorter versions of the song I have. (JC adds….it’s still 17 and a half minutes long!!)

mp3 : The Velvet Underground – Sister Ray

As I mentioned before if you haven’t heard it before you should seek out the 37 minute version from the Complete Matrix Tapes, it is epic in all respects. In fact just purchase the Matrix Tapes box-set, it’s worth every penny to hear the Velvet Underground when they were at their absolute peak as a live entity and in better quality than any other concert recording of the band.

DREW

SOME THOUGHTS ON THE VELVET UNDERGROUND

VU_66promophoto

I found another selection of what I had previously thought were lost postings from the old blog the other day. They were from the month of April 2011….a time when I needed to take a break from blogging but the wonderful Ctel, along with many other incredible friends from the blogosphere, stepped in and kept things going. I think its a series of postings I will return to at some point, but in the meantime, here’s an adaptation of something I wrote on 1 April 2011. And not as a joke either.

———–

Strange as it may seem, I wasn’t a fan of The Velvet Underground back in the 80s even though I knew that so much of their sound influenced many of my favourite bands; indeed most of said bands were not slow in putting out cover versions of VU songs.

This attitude was all because of my unwritten rule of thumb that I wasn’t all that interested in listening to old bands, especially those from the generation before mine. It’s also why I don’t ‘get’ The Beatles or Elvis Presley – I’ve never really given them a try. And being a totally inconsistent sod, I shouldn’t have ever given a chance to The Kinks or Johnny Cash – but I did and loved them.

But I was stubborn about VU for decades. Until last year (2010) when I spent all of £3 on a greatest hits CD compilation, I owned nothing of theirs.  Having given the CD a few listens I’m now willing to admit that some of their songs are pretty decent, including this handful:-

mp3 : The Velvet Underground – I’m Waiting For The Man
mp3 : The Velvet Underground – Pale Blue Eyes
mp3 : The Velvet Underground – Rock ‘n’ Roll
mp3 : The Velvet Underground – Sweet Jane
mp3 : The Velvet Underground – Venus In Furs

The 1967 debut LP Velvet Underground & Nico is the original home of both I’m Waiting For The Man and Venus In Furs. I first heard the former as a cover recorded by Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark as the b-side to their 1980 single Messages. I liked the cover enough to seek out a mate who had VU records to shove the original on a tape for me. I wasn’t moved enough at the time to fall in love with the song…..but at the same time I didn’t have a real dislike of it. It just sounded a bit dated and one-paced. It was only maybe 5 years later when I started really listening to Jonathan Richman that I realised that the sound, far from being dated was in fact timeless and still worth a listen. But I still didn’t buy any of their releases.

Venus In Furs is another track folk tried to get me to listen to when I was a lot younger. It didn’t do anything for me. But now that my listening tastes have matured, I can see that this is a hugely significant piece of music that has influenced so many, not least Tindersticks, a band I championed many a time over on the old blog.

From the 1969 LP The Velvet Underground there can be no surprise that Pale Blue Eyes gets featured as one of my five songs by the VU  given my love of the cover recorded by Paul Quinn & Edwyn Collins. A cover that in my humble opinion is way superior to the original…..

Finally, from the 1970 release Loaded, you will find the tracks Rock’n’Roll and Sweet Jane.

The former is one that I have only recently fallen for. I didn’t know it at all until I picked up the compilation CD…well that is not technically true as I had heard it a few times over the years at various indie-disco or club nights…..but it sort of washed over me.  But hearing it loud on the headphones while sitting on the beach under gloriously clear blue skies changed everything.  Shake your thang hispsters…..and play that air guitar solo!! The latter has an appalling first 17 seconds…..just ignore it and listen to Lou Reed telling you he’s standing on the corner with his suitcase in his hand…….and then take in the remaining near four minutes and accept that it is a wonderful song that I’m ashamed took me far too long to appreciate.

But despite all that I’ve said above in praise of these five songs there’s still too many of the VU songs, certainly on the Very Best Of….CD that still don’t do it for me. But c’mon, I have softened my attitude in recent years and am prepared to acknowledge they deserve their place in the list of important bands that have recorded popular music.

Enjoy.