IF YOU CAN’T LAUGH AT YOURSELF….

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I thought that with it being Tuesday, traditionally the day of guest postings, that I’d fish something out from a series back in May 2009 when more than 40 folk responded positively to my request for such postings so that I could enjoy a wee break from blogging duties while I went on holiday.

This made me smile at the time…and it still does. It doesn’t do well if you take life seriously all the time….

The Vinyl Villain’s Favourite Songs Part 478.5

Quick, nobody’s looking. Go on, hurry up, that window’s open. In you go.

Ow! Mind your feet, that bloody hurt. OK, we’re in. Lets have a quick look around. Ah, here we go, it’s like Santa’s Grotto in here. If Santa was a Smiths fan that is. Blimey. Two life size cardboard Morrisseys. That’s a little scary. What’s that? Morrissey’s pants? Put em down.

Now, there’s got to be something here that we can use against him. Those gits up at the Record Company need something on him, something he won’t want made public. That way if dares to speak up against em again they’ll have him in their pockets.

But it’s all good, he’s not hiding anything. Whatever you see on the Vinyl Villain, well that’s him. Damn. I thought this was going to be easy money. Oi! Watch where you step, I don’t want anything…..broken…..oh you berk!! Twat! I told you to watch out. You’re a real clumsy idiot. If you weren’t family I’d throw you through that bloody window. Hold on. What’s this? It’s a false wall. Hold that torch a little higher. No, not in my face you mug, through that hole in the wall you’ve made. That’s it.

Heh. Well, look at this. Paydirt! Eurovision 1981. It’s a bloody shrine!! Look at those posters. Hey, wait a minute, isn’t that? It is, it’s the original costumes. Ergh, those stains look a bit dodgy. Well, who would have thought it eh? Bucks Bloody Fizz. Look at this, he’s got posters, annuals, calendars. There’s picture discs and everything. I got to admit though, I can remember watching those skirts coming off back in 81. Those girls were a bit tasty. Look, he’s got photos taken with them!!! Even the blokes! Yup, keep that light up, I’m going to take photos of this, we’ve got him now!! The proof we wanted, the Vinyl Villain loves Bucks Fizz!!

Still can you blame him? They were the British ABBA. Without the advantage of being Swedish. Yeh, I know, one of em was a Cockney. And the blokes had dodgy haircuts. Like David Cassidy both of em. But still. The skirts. And some tidy little singles. You think I’m joking? Here, hold the crowbar, I’ll put a couple on. OK, there’s Land Of Make Believe, which will always be the sound of Christmas 1981 for me. Pretty much the last Christmas as a kid before the teenage hormones kicked in properly. But still there were the skirts. I suspect they helped speed up puberty. Listen to those Christmassy bells. Lovely stuff. “he came today, but had to go, to visit you? You’ll never know”…that scared my little sister stupid!

And then spring 1982. An absolute classic time for British pop, all shiny and brightly coloured, ABC, Human League, Soft Cell, Associates, Dollar. And in amongst it all, My Camera Never Lies, with it’s opening dreamy ‘click click’ stuff, then the jerky guitar riff that was made for that 80s dancing.

What? Oh yeah, all the girly backing vocals back then sounded like that, funny accents and all. You should listen to Toto Coelo. Ah, it’s the click click middle bit. Now listen to this, all drums and the girls doing strange vocals again, I want to dance in a silly jerky fashion now! “My camera has good eyes” I had such a crush on those two girls…what did I say that out loud? Oi, why is the light on your tape recorder red? Turn that off you dozy idiot, now!! Oi come back here!!!

mp3 : Bucks Fizz – The Land Of Make Believe
mp3 : Bucks Fizz – My Camera Never Lies

It was courtesy of Simon….whose now semi-retired blog, The Songs That People Sing, can be found here.