A GUEST SERIES….WITH A VERY SPECIAL GUEST CONTRIBUTOR
Last week my daughter received her next set of home school work. Each fortnight the children in her class get given a Project. Two weeks ago we designed a rocket out of cardboard boxes and plastics bottle tops. The time before that the children had a competition to build the strongest bridge out of Lego. The school give prizes for the ones with the most imagination and innovation. This time the Project is to write your own review of your favourite book or TV Programmes or Piece of Music. The blurb states that it needs to look like one of the reviews you will read in a magazine or a website and points will be again be given for imagination.
So, my daughter has compiled her own ICA featuring her favourite ten songs in the world (well sort of). Please bear in mind she is seven and a half and she wants to read all the comments that are left, so if you do comment please be kind. What follows are genuinely her own words (apart from the bits on italics, that was me and doesn’t appear in the school bit), she wrote this in her book and I have typed it and JC has published it (for which we are very grateful indeed). She has promised to draw him a picture to say thank you.
Oh one last thing, we will be sharing this with her school teachers and class mates so please if you decide to comment, be nice or kind. Thank You.
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My Ten Favourite Songs by Mini SWC
Last Christmas my daddy bought Alexa for a present to himself. Alexa is great she tells you jokes like “Whats Green and goes up and down?” A sprout in a lift. She sets alarms and tells me when my dinner is ready. She will also play music if you ask her, whatever music you want, it has all the songs in the world on it. My daddy plays lots of music and most of it is boring and a word that mummy uses to describe it that I can’t remember (the word used is ‘morose’ – swc). So he has let me have my own playlist – which I have called Rainbow Magic after the stories (Sorry, me again, Rainbow Magic are a bunch of stories by an author called Daisy Meadows which are fundamentally the same story rewritten 187 times each one with a slight tweak on the last one, a bit like the ongoing adventures of SWC and OPG you might say – swc) and I play music from it every day. It is a brilliant playlist much better than what Daddy listens to.
Side One
My favourite track in all the world is ‘Shake It Off’ by Taylor Swift. I want to be like Taylor Swift when I grow up. I want to dance around like she does and I dance like her in the lounge when I am supposed to be doing Joe Wicks PE, because Taylor Swift is better. All Joe Wicks does is talk about himself whilst jumping up and down. It is a very happy song and one that has handclaps and I always feel happy when I dance to it. Daddy also has this CD in his car (bought from Dr Barnados in Torquay for 50p shut up, it’s a great record – swc) and we listen to it on the way to school. I was really sad when Glastonbury was cancelled this year because Taylor Swift was playing last and that means she is the best popstar in the world. She is certainly better than all the boy popstars. Taylor Swift says that music is stronger than the coronavirus and that we should all stick together, boys don’t think that they just want to play football and be smelly. I give this song 185 out of 10.
(Shake It Off – Taylor Swift)
Another song I really like is in French and I don’t know who it is by. I like it because it is all about sausages which the man singing says in the first few words of it. This song is groovy and cool. Daddy says it is quite old and that the man singing it is really famous in France. I have never been to France but I would like to go because I want to go up the Eiffel Tower and eat a croissant by the river. I have been learning French and can ask for a drink of water if I need one. This is one of my mummy’s favourite songs as well. It’s also the best song to play musical statutes too.(the song is Le Responsable by Jacques Dutronc and she is right about the sausages – swc)
I like another song that is French and that I can’t remember the name of. But this one is the best song in the world for jumping about on Space Hoppers too. Space Hoppers are like big balloons that you can sit on and have races in the garden on. I have a blue Space Hopper and Mummy and Daddy have an orange one, but mine is the fastest and bounciest.
(She means Ca Plane Pour Moi by Plastic Bertrand – a song that was played at my wedding and did indeed involve Space Hoppers – swc)
My daddy keeps putting music on my playlist to try and catch me out but I can always tell what songs he has put on there, because they are mostly rubbish and I delete them. I just tell Alexa to delete it and she does. One that I have kept is Bird Is the Word (This one is Surfin’ Bird by the Trashmen and its another bonafide classic – swc). I really like the bit near the end of this where the singer sounds like he has a fish in his mouth and he doesn’t like it.
(Surfin’ Bird – The Trashmen)
Another one that daddy put on my playlist that I like is the song about Monsters coming over the hill. I like it a lot. I like to hide behind the sofa in the lounge and sing “Whats that hiding behind the sofa – is it a monster” and then jump out on mummy and daddy and scare them. This song is really fun and makes me think of cartoons like Scooby Doo.
(Monster – The Automatic)
Side Two
My favourite TV programme is Horrible Histories (ditto – swc) and at Christmas Daddy took me to the cinema to see the movie of it (which I totally recommend – swc). It was all about the Romans and the Celts. The Celts used to build houses out of their poo and the Romans made the roads all straight and stole lots of money from people. In the film the Romans and the Celts have a big battle in somewhere called Watling Street. Daddy says he grew up near Watling Street, although I’m not sure it was in the time of the Romans, like he says. I like going to the cinema because I get to eat Maltesers and popcorn.
(The Battle of Watling Street – Kate Nash)
At school a few months ago before the lockdown came and I couldn’t see my friends anymore we had to do a play. In the play I was a sheep and I had to do a dance with my friends. The song we danced to was ‘I like to Move It Move It’. I like to listen to this song because it reminds me of my friends especially M (name removed – swc) and it reminds me that one day there won’t be a virus and we can do plays at school again.
(I like to Move It – Reel 2 Reel)
My mummys favourite song in all the world is all about dreams – I don’t know who sings it but it is a very happy song and it has no boring guitars on it and no shouting. We played this song really loud on Christmas morning this year as we unwrapped presents. I was allowed to jump off the sofa as it was Christmas it was fun I also had chocolate for breakfast (which is why she jumped off the sofa – swc). Mummy has better taste in music than daddy.
(Dreamer – Livin Joy)
One of my favourite foods is jam sandwiches. I had jam sandwiches for lunch today. I don’t like orange jam though like Paddington (she means marmalade – swc). After lunch I helped to make some scones with mummy while daddy painted the bench on the patio. Mummy got cross with him because he spilt brown paint on the bricks. This song mentions jam and that makes me like it.
(Pump Up The Jam – Technotronic)
I love to read books I have a lot of books, apart from Daisy Meadows my favourite writer is Roald Dahl his books are really funny and have really funny characters in them. I like Mr Twit because he reminds me of my daddy when he doesn’t shave for a week. I also love Mr Wonka and if I also think about finding a Golden Ticket inside one of my chocolate bars. I like chocolate almost as much as jam sandwiches and pasta. There is a song from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory that my daddy used to play to me when I was really little, like four or something, that I like to listen to when I am feeling sad because it makes me smile.
(Pure Imagination – Gene Wilder )
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I think I am slightly biased, but I think that might just be the greatest ICA ever written. Thank you for reading. Take care out there. Stay Safe.
THE NEW VINYL VILLAIN 