In case you’re wondering what this is all about, I’ve a plan for something to take up the usual Sunday slot which looks in depth over a number of weeks at a particular band or artist but I’m putting it on hold till after the ICA World Cup is over. The space will be taken up in the meantime by reposts from the deleted old blog….and I’m delighted to say that I’ve salvaged some from May 2009 when the place was given over to guest bloggers. This appeared on Wednesday 27 May 2009…..
PRIMITIVE BUT FUN
Hello dear people,
First of all: thanks to you, JC, for letting me participate in this series of guest contributions for the Vinyl Villain. I hope you and Mrs. V. enjoy your holiday … you certainly deserve it!
Now, there are thousands of songs I like quite a lot and which I could have picked in order to write something pretty clever about. Songs with an immensely wise meaning, a political statement perhaps, songs you all know, love and would be eager to hear again here. Songs that would have made it more or less easy for me to create a long essay of wisdom about which I could then share with you here.
But be warned, the opposite is true, I’m afraid: the tune I have chosen doesn’t mean pretty much. Nor does anyone know it, I’m willing to have a small bet. Nevertheless I simply love it and have done so since I first heard it back in 1983 or thereabouts. It includes everything a good tune needs, at least as far as I’m concerned: a) whacky rhythm b) clever lyrics c) young female vocalists. Or, if you’d rather, it’s primitive, but fun.
In it the singer tells us a story of everyday life: it’s about chatting up girls. And about how ludicrous men behave when trying to do so. And yes, I admit: at times we do. Most often, in fact. Although: the bloke in the song really tops the bill, perhaps that’s why he’s referred to as an ‘Aquavelva Geek’. You may wonder now what this might possibly mean, and rightly so. Well, there’s a little dictionary at the back of the sleeve of the record, described as the ‘Val Talk To English Dictionary’. Here’s what the ‘Aquavelva Geek’ is translated as:
“(ak’ wa vel’va gek) n. : Distasteful individual hailing from Marina Del Ray area; frequently divorced and on the make.”
Next to this there is a little comic-style drawing of the Geek with clothing details described below: “1. attempted perm on balding head, 2. fake gold chain, 3. unbuttoned white collar shirt, 4. chest hair wig, 5. Casio alarm watch w/ Pac Man game, 6. Ultra-suede jacket, 7. doubleknit pants, 8. Justin boots. ”
Mostly all of the strange expressions which are contained in the lyrics are translated in the dictionary and if I only had a scanner I would perhaps be able to picture it here. But I don’t, so listen closely to one of the finest songs in the history of recorded music, which, I shouldn’t forget to mention, includes my favourite song line ever: “Yeah, I learnt quite a while ago not to be afraid to wear fashion underwear”…:
Marina Men was released as a 12” on Rhino Records back in 1982.
The Valley Girls were Chrissy Peters (16), Sonia Gordon (16) and Pamy (18) and, astonishingly enough, I got an email from one of their nephews not so long ago, saying that all of them are enjoying their family lives in the Valley …
Well, I do hope you enjoyed my choice, friends.
I closed off that particular posting by saying
“TODAY’S GUEST CONTRIBUTION IS COURTESY OF A REALLY TOP BLOKE…SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN A LONG-TIME FRIEND OF TVV….AND SOMEONE THAT ONE DAY I HOPE TO MEET IN THE FLESH….DICK HUPPERTZ OF ALDENHOVEN, GERMANY AND OF THE BLOG SEXY LOSER.”
In May 2017, that ambition was realised…..with the added bonus of many other great bloggers also hooking up for a truly unforgettable weekend in Glasgow. Where has the time gone since?