A GUEST POSTING by STEVE McLEAN

Hello my lovely cyberspace dwellers. It’s been AGES. I know you’re thinking ‘
well if McLean’s here then what’s he selling?’ I realise I’m usually only here when I have a show to promote, like some online
Arthur Daley. Fear not, I have nothing to hawk, today I’m more like
Dennis Waterman’s Terry, just happy to have some time to myself.
I’ve wanted to write about Aerosmith for a while. While ACDC and ZZ Top both have their place among hipsters, they always seemed scared to embrace the world of Boston’s bad boys. But don’t worry, there’ll be no MTV hits here (although Pink is a banger). There’ll be nothing about a Lady or an Elevator. In fact, there won’t be any Aerosmith in this blog about Aerosmith, for two reasons.
Reason 1: Because of everything HE has done. No defence of anything, I’m wrestling with my own fandom. I guess the one thing I will say is that heroin addicts don’t make good choices and generally aren’t good people.
Reason 2: I once had a great LP called Songs The New York Dolls Taught Us which was all songs that had inspired the Dolls and I thought ‘WHY ISN’T THERE ONE FOR THE TOXIC TWINS!’ On a side note, Steve Tyler and Joe Perry used to be known as the Toxic Twins. Jerry Garcia once said of Aerosmith ‘Aerosmith are a great band but they take too many drugs’ How fucked up are you if you’re too fucked up for the Grateful Dead?
Aerosmith would usually record a cover version per album, sometimes two. They wanted to show the world their influences, but mainly they wanted to get the record done and get back to snorting freeze-dried petrol off of a mermaid’s tits. They very much had a ‘that’ll do’ attitude to their albums and I fucking love that about them.
I’m going to focus on the cover versions they recorded between 1973 and 1983. Pound for pound, the Aerosmith albums are a match for any other hairy behemoth of that period.
Walkin’ The Dog – Rufus Thomas
One of the great things about Aerosmith is that they turned me on to Atlantic R&B in my early teens. I know the Stones covered this but then so did a lot of bands and I didn’t like the Stones when I was 13 (I mean I did but only because my Uncle told me I had to). But this was a door opening to classic music genre at an early age. The first Aerosmith album is a wonderful garage-blues-rock affair and sounds like it was recorded in a barn.
The Train Kept A Rollin’ – The Johnny Burnette Trio
In 1974 Tyler & Co released Get Your Wings. If you’re wondering what the title refers to, it means drugs. As do the albums ‘Rocks’ ‘Draw The Line’ ‘Done With Mirrors’ ‘Permanent Vacation’ and ‘Rock in a Hard Place’… they all mean drugs. ‘Pump’ is about sex. You may have missed the subtlety. Aerosmith fucking loved drugs. It was their favourite hobby. On a side note, I was once using a dating app in Glasgow and under Hobbies and Interests someone had listed ‘Smoking’. Legend.
This was a song that came to Aerosmith via the Yardbirds but they came by it through the rockabilly hero, Johnny Burnette. The Burnette version pisses all over the Yardbirds version. Frankly, the only good thing Eric Clapton has been good for his whole miserable ant-vax / Ukip promoting life is as an influence on Joe Perry. That’s it. I feel I’m straying into ‘What have the Yardbirds ever done for us’ but that’s a blog someone else can write. Someone dull. I used to be in a band with a guy who would play the riff to Layla every time we had a break. Every fucking time. He was bell-end like his hero..
Big Ten Inch Record – Bull Moose Jackson
From their first ‘massive’ album, Toys in the Attic, that also featured Walk This Way and Sweet Emotion. A lot of people think that Walk This Way’ invented the rap / rock crossover genre, but those people are fucking morons and the ghost of Chuck Mosley haunts their sleep. Another great R&B door opening for me. It took me a few years to track this down. I found it on a compilation called Badman Jackson, it’s a bold title given the geography teacher vibes of his photo.
Instead of singing “Except for my big tench in” Steve Tyler sings “Suck on my big ten inch” which was hilarious when I was thirteen but these days I roll my eyes and tut if there’s anyone young around (I’m laughing on the inside, young people! LAUGHING MY FUCKING TITS OFF! Would it be too much to ask for just one more Carry On film? WOULD IT?)
Milk Cow Blues – The Kinks
In 1977 Aerosmith were burning out. 76 had seen them record their bestest record, Rocks which contained absolutely no cover versions but a year later they are running on fumes. Fortunately Tyler and Perry’s main source of protein was fumes, but the other three were getting pretty sick of their bullshit. They hired an abandoned monastery in New York’s Westchester area with the idea that the isolation would keep them away from drugs. There was one flaw in the otherwise brilliant plan; drugs are fucking portable. They can be moved around, that how the band could come by them in the first place.
Milk Cow Blues was another song brought to the band by The Yardbirds. The Kinks version which was earlier is way better. Both have their seeds in an old blues song that Elvis made popular as The Milk Cow Blues Boogie. It had been in Aerosmith sets since 1972, which suggest where they were creatively.
I Ain’t Got You – Jimmy Reed
Another song that came to Aerosmith from the Yardbirds. It’s depressing how much of my early music came via Enoch Clapton. BUT! It’s another cover version that they themselves performed. Lazy Yardbirds, it’s only cool when Aerosmith do it.
In 1978 Aerosmith took a break. To buy themselves a bit of time they released a live album called
Live: Bootleg, it was an uneven collection of songs including a version of this blues thumper recorded in 1972. The record also featured two other cover versions (three if you include the little bit of
Strangers in the Night that Perry plays in a guitar solo). The other songs are the
James Brown classic
Mother Popcorn (Aerosmith got me into James Brown is not something you had on your Steve McLean bingo card) and a version of the
Beatles Come Together. They recorded it for the soundtrack of the frankly amazing
Bee Gees / Peter Frampton film
Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. A film that was basically a set of Beatles cover versions set to music video set pieces and given narration by
George Burns. It featured
Billy Preston as a Weathercock and starred
Frankie Howard, Steve Martin, Donald Pleasance and
Paul Nicholas from
Just Good Friends. The answer to your next question is drugs.
Aerosmith’s version of Come Together is decent enough, it’s fucking miles better than Paul Weller‘s version fucking miles behind Tina Turner‘s. But I Ain’t Got You is a fucking doozie.
Remember (Walking In The Sand) – Shangri Las
Aerosmith were heavily influenced by The New York Dolls and the Dolls loved the Shangri Las. This seems like hero worship multiplied. It’s a cracking version and Mary Weiss provides backing vocals on the song. The album it featured on was called Night In The Ruts since the record label said that they weren’t allowed to call it Right In The Nuts.. because they’re not fucking twelve.
It also featured not one but two other covered songs. Another fucking Yardbirds hand-me-down called Think About It which Jimmy Page reckons he wrote but he says that about a lot of songs. The other cover was an old blues standard called Reefer Headed Women, and it is fucking hard work. During this album Perry has had enough of Tyler being a fucking twat all of the fucking time and quits. A near tea-total Jimmy Crespo joins the band, and guess what? That’s right, DRUGS! Welcome to the club Jimmy, here’s a slice of the thing that killed Belushi.
Cry Me A River – Julie London
It took the new boy Crespo and the rest nearly four years to record the next record. Guess what caused the delay? You’re wrong! So ner! Steve Tyler had a motorcycle crash and needed eighteen months recovery time. Yeah, but guess what caused the motorcycle crash? Yeah, okay, you’re right. It was drugs. AND THEN! in recovery the fucking plank goes and gets himself addicted to painkillers as well as everything else he’s currently enjoying.
In spite of all this, Rock in a Hard Place, the 1982 album is decent. No Perry, no problem. This is a strange cover version, but it’s faithfully done and takes the band out of their comfort zone. I still think the ultimate reason for the song is drugs.
Bonus track – Helter Skelter: The Beatles
In the early 1990s, a box set would uncover a few more version of other people’s songs. Titled Pandora’s Box, it showed up just how little there was in terms of throw away songs. A few jams, mainly instrumental, a few live tracks and a handful of cover versions. They really were lazy fucks in the studio. Included among them were versions of For Your Love, an Otis Rush song, On The Road Again by The Lovin’ Spoonful and Fleetwood Mac‘s Rattlesnake Shake which is dull as fuck.
Helter Skelter was a decent version of the Beatles song from a recording session in 1975.
That’s us! Up to 1983. On the whole I’m glad Aerosmith were the first band I truly loved. They opened the door for much for me, including The New York Dolls which got me into the Stooges, girl groups, blues and soul and all sorts. When the hairy kids around me all liked Guns and Roses, It was great having a ‘my band’ that no one else liked. Joe Perry is still cool as fuck.
I’ll be back in the spring where I hope to have some lovely second hand microwaves and a Ford Cortina that you might be interested in (I actually have something exciting that I’m dying to tell you about).
Big love, you beautiful fruitloops xx
STEVE