HOLY SMOKE AND LAND SNAKES ALIVE, I NEVER THOUGHT THIS COULD HAPPEN TO ME

It begins with a speeded-up sample from an Elvis Presley song.  It’s a tale of chaos, mayhem and violence…lyrically and musically.

Yeah…………..it was midnight on the murder mile
Wilson Pickett’s finest hour
I was walking towards the flashing smile of the Crystal Palace Tower
Past the big old church where the hands of God were stuck on lucky 7
And the bells inside were limbering up for a sawn-off shotgun wedding

From the gas board to the fire brigade, there’s a dozen GPO’s,
There’s an all night chicken takeaway which is finger lickin’ closed
As I passed the wonder of good old Woolworths my travel card expired
It was midnight on the murder mile
O.K. let’s riot

In the avenues and alleyways, I took a short-cut to the throat
I was stitched up by the Boys Brigade, I was beaten to a pulp
I was marinaded, regurgitated, and served up as a cold meat
And as they shoved me in the blender, I remembered Johnny told me

If the concrete and the clay beneath your feet, don’t get you son
The avenues and alleyways are gonna do it just for fun
They’ll suck you in and spit you out and leave your family lonely
The telephones on sticks will tell you
999 calls only

But it’s too late to call the fire brigade, an ambulance or the cops
I need the father, son and holy coast guard
Operator, operator

Long distance information get me Jesus on the line
I need communion, confirmation, absolution for my crimes
I need a character witness Jesus I think I’m about to die
My whole life flashed before me when the night bus passed me by

It was 3 o’clock on the murder mile
When I came to my senses
And my only death wish was that I had a sockful of fifty pences
A public execution that the whole neighbourhood could watch
Or just a phone box, a phone box, my kingdom for a phone box

If the concrete and the clay beneath your feet don’t get you son
The avenues and alleyways are gonna do it just for fun
When they’ve sucked you in and spat you out and left your family lonely
The telephones on sticks will tell you
999 calls only

mp3: Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine – Midnight On The Murder Mile

From the debut album, 101 Damnations, released on Big Cat Records back in 1989.  It came up while I was sitting on a train listening to one of the old monthly mixes and reminded me of how much energy I used to have when I went to gigs and threw myself about without a care or worry about what damage I might do to myself.  These days I want ideally to sit, failing which, enjoy a clear and uninterrupted view of the stage and have no bastard close to me talking their way through the set.

Holy smoke and land snakes alive, I never thought this would happen to me.

As my dear friend Dirk would say….

Take care.  And Enjoy.

JC