COCTEAU TWINS : ON TAPE

A GUEST POSTING by flimflamfan

How is it possible? I mean, really? How?

It’s taken me 30 years. 30 years is a wee bit of a cheat, as there were significant periods when my epic journey was not foremost in my mind. 30 is a headline grabber, so I’m going to stick with 30.

It all began with a tape (cassette). I was over at a pal’s and they said they had a compilation tape for me. It was 1994. The sharing of songs via a compilation (sorry copyright holders) is a practice I miss. To me, it was a somewhat intimate act – it was rare that a duplicate of a compilation was made, and it always seemed rather special to be the solo recipient. My own compilations often came with designed covers and titles – many of them (enjoyed for decades) recently lost, via an unfortunate episode.

The compilation in question came with artist and song titles scrawled (sorry, pal) with some songs titles missing. It included songs by Hole, Nirvana, Galaxie 500, Pussy Galore, Stereolab, San Francisco Beauty Queen, Lilliput. Mudhoney etc.… It was right up my street then. It’s right up my street now.

However, it’s the inclusion of songs by Cocteau Twins that rather catapulted this particular compilation to the top of all compilation tapes. My 30-year search for an answer began.

Not long after I was given the tape my pal moved to London. We stayed in touch by letter – remember those – for a while and that eventually petered out. I had always wanted to ask my question but for reasons that remain inexplicable, I never did. As we entered the internet age I began searching online – but couldn’t find the information I wanted given the infancy of modem internet. After a time, and mostly due to house moves, the tape was put in storage – always accessible – but stored.

Every now and then it would be taken out, I’d prepare myself, hit play. I accepted I had no emotional control and would just let the joyous mood take me where it wanted to go. I was a willing traveller. Whatever could be the reason for such an indecent outpouring of emotion? In a word, Bluebeard.

I mentioned earlier that Cocteau Twins were included on the tape. What I hadn’t clarified is that these were live versions. My pal was an avid listener of radio, and I was all but sure the songs derived from a radio session, but couldn’t ever find out which live radio session. I’ve listened to many of the live versions out there from the gigs of 1994 (I attended Glasgow Barrowlands) but none affect me in quite the same way as this particular version (not even on the occasion when I was in attendance).

As the internet became more informative, I was sure someone would post some detail, but no. Fan forums then were rather different to what passes for forums now, and they offered no clarity. Each time I listened to the tape coincided with an online attempt to find out more about the songs? When were they recorded (I’d guessed late 93/94 given the songs and tour setlist). Which radio station (probably BBC)? Which DJ? Which gig? Which city? Bootlegs of live performances uploaded online offered no clue. It had become an inconsistent obsession. It was only when I had an urge to hear Bluebeard that I was re-inclined to discover the information about the session.

When the release of Cocteau Twins BBC Sessions was announced, I was all but convinced it would include the four songs. I would have bet my house on it. I would have lost the house. The songs were not included on this supposed complete BBC sessions*. With no way now to contact my pal this itch to know needed to be scratched and vigorously.

The thing is as much as I loved the recorded version of Bluebeard (and oh how I love it) this version just takes me to a happier place. It lifts me up – much live a spiritual is claimed to do. That three-minute mark is anticipated. As Liz Fraser wails like a woman possessed, I cry. Every time.

mp3: Cocteau Twins – Bluebeard (live)

In May of 2024 I decided to ask my question in an online fan forum. I’m disinclined to involve myself with social media (where the fan pages are mostly located) and lo… within minutes of asking my question it was answered. I really can’t describe how happy the news made me. My thanks to the forum member. It gets better. Another forum member sent me digital copies of the ‘session’. Thanks also to that forum member.

Cocteau Twins : 9th Feb, 1994, Rock City, Nottingham : Marc Riley

And all four songs…

Bluebeard, Carolyn’s Finger, Summerhead and Aikea-Guinea

Technically, my question took 30 years to be answered. In reality, when asked, it took minutes.

The digital copy has been played lots. However, my version on tape, will continue to be played too. It just ‘feels’ different. No, I don’t know why either?

My quest has ended. I can no longer bore friends with my epic search – annoying with a 30th anniversary to celebrate. Instead, I will regale the long-suffering with the kindness of strangers on the internet and how they came to my aid.

* the songs were not included on BBC sessions as it wasn’t a BBC session, merely broadcast by the BBC.

flimflamfan