DON’T LOOK BACK IN ANGER (12)

Chart dates 27 November – 3 December

Before I even pull up the charts for December 1983, I’m anticipating this being a post where not too many songs will feature as the record companies were almost certainly pushing hard forthe Christmas market through the perenials and novelty records.   I’ll take a few deep breaths and dive in…..

mp3: Tears For Fears – The Way You Are (#40)

I had forgotten all about this one.  Tears For Fears had enjoyed a very decent year, with three singles going Top 5 and debut album The Hurting reaching #1.  As a new and young group,  they would have been on the receiving end of ‘advice’ from the record label execs, which is why they came to write and record a new song for release in the period just before Christmas, with one eye on giving the album a little extra promotional boost.

As wiki records, Roland Orzabal and Curt Smith have been uncompromising in their dislike for the song in the years following its release, Orzabal stating it was “the point we realized we had to change direction”, while Smith was even more direct in proclaiming it “the worst thing we’ve done”.

I agree that, at this point in time, it was their worst song. But future releases down the line would eclipse it.

Chart dates 4-10 December

First thing to mention is that Uptown Girl by Billy Joel had its five-week stay at #1 ended by the Flying Pickets a cappella take on Yazoo’s Only You, which itself would stay at the top of the charts for the next five weeks, gaining the coveted ‘#1 at Xmas ‘title.

Here’s who came into the charts this week with new entries.

#11: Culture Club – Victims
#22: Billy Joel – Tell Her About It
#36: Status Quo – Marguerita Time
#38: UB40 – Many Rivers To Cross
#40: Barry Manilow – Read ‘Em And Weep
#44: Adam Ant – Strip
#49: Kool and The Gang – Straight Ahead
#51: Chas and Dave – My Malancholy Baby
#58: Elton John – Cold As Christmas
#63: Santa Claus & The Christmas Trees – Singalong-a-Santa Again
#70: Rod Stewart – Sweet Surrender
#72: Slade – Merry Xmas Everybody
#74: The Klaxons – The Clap Clap Sound
#75: Dayton – The Sound Of Music

I don’t think I ventured near a record store that week….or indeed the rest of the month.

Those of you who live outside the UK probably don’t fully get the horror of the singles charts in the months of December. That new entry at #63 is about as awful as it gets.  It was a follow-up to a single from exactly 12 months previous, one which got as high as #19 and earned an appearance on Top of The Pops.

Feel free to stop right there and go find something better to do than read the rest of this rubbish.

Chart dates 11-17 December

A few record labels had been a bit slow in getting their novelty records into the shops and missed out on the bonanza of the first couple of weeks of the month.  But it’s never too late to fleece the punters.

#48: The Jingle Bells – Christmas Spectre

I’ve just looked at Discogs.  It was a 12″ only release on Passion Records. There’s 38 copies up for sale, ranging from 50p to £15, plus postage and packaging.  It’s a medley of the following songs.   Frosty The Snowman,  I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus,  Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer, Winter Wonderland,  Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town and White Christmas.  How can you resist?

#52: Dennis Waterman and George Cole – What Are We Gonna Get ‘Er  Indoors

The following week, this would hit #26.  As introduced on Top of The Pops by John Peel.   His look of horror as he worries that it might make a late run for a spot on his show’s Festive 50.

#54: Paul McCartney – The Pipes Of Peace
#61: Frida and BA Robertson – Time
#63: David Essex – You’re In My Heart
#70: Malcolm McLaren – Duck For The Oyster

I wonder what John Lydon was thinking?

#71: Bing Crosby and Grace Kelly – True Love
#73: The Jets – Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree
#74: Bucks Fizz – Rules Of The Game

Chart dates 18-24 December

It still wasn’t to late to inflict pain:-

#34 : Frank Kelly – Christmas Countdown

I had to look this one up.

And yup, it was a hit single for the bloke who would later, and quite brilliantly, play the role of Father Jack in the 90s comedy series, Father Ted.   I had no idea, and until now have never heard it. It eventually climbed to #26, and led to a rather surreal Top of the Pops appearance in the first week of January 1984.

But seriously, people bought this shit?????

There were other equally awful singles that crept into the charts this week and indeed the following week.  But I’ve had enough, as I’m sure you have too.  Just to mention in passing, that among all this nonsense, the following singles were still listed in the Top 75 of the final week of 1983.

Waterfront – Simple Minds
Oblivious – Aztec Camera
This Charming Man – The Smiths
Relax – Frankie Goes To Hollywood
The Sun and The Rain – Madness
The Love Cats – The Cure
A Solid Bond In Your Heart – The Style Council

Thanks for sticking with me through this series.  It’ll be back next year, but this time will involve  a 45-year look back at the 45s that were making all the noise in 1979 (but don’t worry, I won’t be looking at the full charts in any depth!)

JC